Drinks with Jason

by Heidi Turner

I met Jason in the fall, a few months after I moved to Kamloops. We were hired at a call centre and sat next to each other during the six-week training program. We bonded over our intense dislike for our jobs combined with our belief that we were bound for bigger and better things. We found ways to amuse ourselves by making faces at each other, passing notes back and forth during tests, and trying to knock over each other’s glasses of water. It wasn’t long before we were hanging out together more often than not.

Despite our frequent nights out together, Jason and I were not a couple. I was in a long-distance relationship, since my then-boyfriend had moved back east for work. Although I sometimes got the impression that Jason was interested in me, he respected that I was with someone and never acted on it.

One night in January, Jason and I went out to Boston Pizza and found ourselves discussing our futures.

“I’m getting out of Kamloops,” he said. “I’ve been accepted to a broadcasting program at BCIT. Come September, I’m out of here.” He looked out the window at the snow, which was falling heavily. “I’m sick of this weather. I’m a warm-weather person. I hate the winter, especially all this white stuff.”

“I thought you liked it here,” I said, absentmindedly stirring my drink and admiring the little beads of condensation that were collecting and rolling down the side of the glass.

“Nope. I’ve got bigger, better things in mind. Besides, you don’t like it here either. You should move down to Vancouver with me. Go back to school and take a program you really like. You know there’s nothing here for you. The weather’s milder in Vancouver.”

I laughed at the thought of living with him. I cared about Jason, but I was certain that a few days of living together would drive both of us crazy. As much of a snob as I could be, Jason was far, far worse. The very mention of Wal-Mart sent him into convulsions.

A few weeks later, I decided that I’d had enough of my call centre job. One evening around closing time, I walked past Jason and dropped a note on his desk. “Just so you know, I think this is my last night here. I’ve had enough.”

After work, we stood in the parking lot talking, the snow slowly building up at our feet.

“You’re not really leaving, are you?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m sick of it. This work is stupid. We’re both above it, you know that.”

“Yeah, but at least it’s an income until we find something else to do. I need to save up money for September. You should stay. You’ll make the time go by more quickly for me.” He gave me a hug, brushed the snowflakes off the top of my head, and suggested we meet for drinks later that night.

The following evening, I waited for Jason to call me. We had gone out for drinks the night before and wound up at a bar, dancing until the place closed. I meant to see if he wanted to get something to eat before he drove home, since he lived out of town and I thought he might need some time to prepare for the drive. By the time we left the bar, the light snow had turned into an all-out snowstorm. However, he was tired and wanted to go home, so I didn’t bother asking. Instead, I suggested we meet the next night.

While I waited for him to call, I talked to my boyfriend, Mike, who was becoming threatened by my relationship with Jason.

“All I’m saying is that guys and girls can’t be friends like that. They can’t. It’s impossible.”

“Even if he does have feelings for me, he knows I’m with you,” I explained patiently. “He won’t hit on me.” I pulled Jason’s note out of my wallet. “We’re just friends. We get along well and we understand each other.”

“Tell him you’re not interested in him. That way he doesn’t have false hope. He thinks he has a chance with you and you’re letting him.”

I became angry. “Look, if it comes up, I’ll deal with it. But until I know that he likes me, I’m not just going to assume that he does. I think that’s a little egotistical.”

We argued until 10:00 when I said I had to go to bed. I was worried that Jason hadn’t called.

Finally, around 11:00 the phone rang. “Hey, guess what happened last night after I left,” Jason said. “I was in a car accident! I passed some hitchhikers, and because it was snowing, I decided to turn around to pick them up. As I was making a left, this guy came out of nowhere and tried to pass me. He rammed right into my driver’s side door. I think the car is totaled.”

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m okay. I’m just really tired, so I think it’s best if I don’t go out. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is. Get some rest and feel better. We’ll go out next weekend.”

That Friday we went out as planned. He insisted on picking me up. As soon as I got to his vehicle I could see why.

“Wow. That’s a pretty fancy SUV,” I said.

 “I know!” he exclaimed. “Isn’t it awesome? I’m going to drive to Calgary to meet some friends so they can see me in this beast. Want to come?”

I was tempted. A road trip sounded like fun, but Mike’s words struck a nerve, and I was beginning to worry that I was leading Jason on. Instead I said, “I don’t think so. I’m not a road-trip person. You have fun though. Watch the roads in this snow.”

As he dropped me off later that night, he repeated his offer. “I’ll pay for the hotel rooms and all the gas. You wouldn’t have to pay a cent.”

Again I was tempted, but I could only hear Mike’s words in my head. “That’s sweet of you, Jason, but I really can’t go. Have fun. Take care of yourself.” I gave him a hug and hopped out of the SUV.

Over the next two months, I didn’t see Jason at all. He called me repeatedly about going out for drinks, but I couldn’t bring myself to see him. The more I thought about it, the more I thought Mike might be right. I was leading Jason on. Instead of calling him back I ignored the phone calls, wondering what to do. It turned out I didn’t have to do anything.

On February 16, my phone rang. “Heidi, it’s Cindy. From work. It’s about Jason. He’s dead.”

Cindy waited for me to say something, but I was sure I hadn’t heard her properly. “What?” I said.

She continued. “They told us at work this morning. He was sick with a cold. His mom went into his room this morning and found him unable to breathe. Apparently, he died before the paramedics got there. Are you okay?” she asked. “I know you two were pretty close.”

“I need to go,” I said and threw myself onto my bed, crying. I couldn’t understand. He had survived a car accident two months ago, but now a cold had killed him?

I called my friend’s dad, a paramedic.

“It probably was the car accident that killed him,” he said. “In many cases, a traumatic incident like a car accident causes a blood clot. It can’t be detected without a CAT scan, but they wouldn’t have ordered a CAT scan unless it looked like he had internal injuries. The clot probably broke free and lodged itself somewhere, causing symptoms that resembled a cold. Honestly, I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen people walk away from serious car accidents, only to die a couple of months later from unseen complications. It’s more common than you think, not that that helps.”

I pulled Jason’s note out of my wallet and stared at it. He’d given it to me the night of his car accident. If only I had asked him to get some food before he drove home. If only I had called him back all of those times he called me. If only I hadn’t listened to Mike.

The night after the funeral, I met up with Cindy for dinner and a drink.

“You know, he really liked you,” she said, while we were reminiscing about Jason.

I hadn’t expected to hear that. Despite everything that Mike had said about the situation and the suspicions I’d had, I still hadn’t really believed that Jason had feelings for me.

“He hoped you’d dump Mike for him. He and I talked about what a cute couple you’d make,” Cindy continued. I think that was supposed to cheer me up, but it didn’t. “Of course, he was choked that you didn’t call him back the last few times he called you. He said he would give you one more chance, and if you didn’t call him back, then that was it.”

I blinked back the moisture that was collecting in my eyes, but couldn’t prevent it from rolling down my cheeks.